Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on VHS. Starring Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Andy Serkis. With Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, John Rhys-Davies, Dominic Monaghan, Bernard Hill, Billy Boyd, Orlando Bloom, Hugo Weaving, Karl Urban, John Noble, Miranda Otto, David Wenham. Directed by Peter Jackson. 2003.

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on VHS. Starring Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Andy Serkis. With Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, John Rhys-Davies, Dominic Monaghan, Bernard Hill, Billy Boyd, Orlando Bloom, Hugo Weaving, Karl Urban, John Noble, Miranda Otto, David Wenham. Directed by Peter Jackson. 2003.

From the VHS box:

The final battle for Middle-earth begins. Frodo and Sam, led by Gollum, continue their dangerous mission toward the fires of Mount Doom in order to destroy the One Ring. Aragorn struggles to fulfill his legacy as he leads his outnumbered followers against the growing power of the Dark Lord Sauron, so that the Ring-bearer may complete his quest.

DVD upgrade: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Two-Disc Widescreen Theatrical Edition)



Barbarella

Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy on VHS. Movie starring Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, Milo O'Shea. With Marcel Marceau, Claude Dauphin. Directed by Roger Vadim. 1968.

Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy on VHS. Starring Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, Milo O’Shea. With Marcel Marceau, Claude Dauphin. Directed by Roger Vadim. 1968.

From the VHS box:

Barbarella is marked by the same audacity and originality, fantasy, beauty and horror, cruelty and eroticism that make comic books such a favorite. The setting is the planet Lythion in the year 40,000, when Barbarella makes a forced landing while traveling through space. She acts like a female James Bond, vanquishing evil in the forms of robots and monsters. She also rewards, in an uninhibited manner, the handsome men who assist her in her adventure. Whether she is wrestling with Black Guards, the evil Queen, or the Angel Pygar, she just can’t seem to avoid losing at least part of her skin-tight space suit!

DVD upgrade: Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy

You can totally pull off a Barbarella costume: Smiffy’s Women’s 60′s Beauty Queen Wig Long with Bouffant and Fringe, Blonde, One Size

Years after Dr. Durand Durand inspired their name, Duran Duran released a single: Electric Barbarella by Duran Duran







UHF

UHF VHS cover art. Starring 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Kevin McCarthy, Michael Richards, David Bowe, Victoria Jackson. With Billy Barty, Fran Drescher, Trinidad Silva. Directed by Jay Levey. 1989.

UHF on VHS. Starring ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, Kevin McCarthy, Michael Richards, David Bowe, Victoria Jackson. With Billy Barty, Fran Drescher, Trinidad Silva. Directed by Jay Levey. 1989.

From the VHS box:

It’s crazy. It’s zany. It’s hysterical. It’s TV according to “Weird Al” Yankovic.

RAIDER OF THE FALLEN ARCHES, ALMOST RAMBOW, TOWN TALK WITH GEORGE, CONAN THE LIBRARIAN, WHEEL OF FISH, GONE WITH A WHIM, GANDHI II

George Newman is a daydreamer whose hyperactive imagination keeps him from holding a steady job… until he becomes the general manager of Channel 62, a local television station his uncle wins in a poker game.

Unfortunately, the station is about one week away from bankruptcy. In a moment of desperation, George makes janitor Stanley Spadowski the star of a dull children’s show and stumbles onto a ratings goldmine… who else would treat lucky kids to a drink from a high-pressure hose? “Stanley Spadowski’s playhouse” is just weird enough to attract an audience!

Before long, endless reruns have been replaced with bizarre programming that could only have come from one place: George Newman’s unique imagination. Shows like “Wheel of Fish,” “Name That Stain,” “Conan the Librarian,” “The Wonderful World of Phlegm,” and “Raul’s Wild Kingdom,” where poodles learn to fly from third story windows!

But as Channel 62s ratings start to rise, so does the wrath of TV mogul R.J. Fletcher, who wants to buy the station and turn it into a parking lot.

Can Channel 62 come up with the money it needs to stay on the air? George Newman’s imagination is the only place to find out!

Blu-ray upgrade: UHF (25th Anniversary Edition) [Blu-ray]

Or tune in now to the Amazon instant rental: Uhf

And then listen to the airwaves: UHF Soundtrack: Weird Al Yankovic







High Turbulence

High Turbulance aka High Turbulence on VHS video. Starring Jackie Chan, Samo Hung, Yuen Biao, Deannie Yip, Pauline Yeung, Crystal Kwok. Directed by Samo Hung.

High Turbulance aka High Turbulence on VHS video. Starring Jackie Chan, Samo Hung, Yuen Biao, Deannie Yip, Pauline Yeung, Crystal Kwok. Directed by Samo Hung.

From the VHS box:

A Lawyer Who Knew Too Much!

The waist disposal from a chemical plant is killing the local fish farm business. Yvonne the owner of one of the farms threatens to go to the authorities if something is not done. The plant owner hires a slick lawyer to take care of the problem. Things heat up when Jackie falls for Yvonne’s one and only witness.

Jackie Chan learns that the real purpose for the plant is not waist but drugs. All hell breaks loose when Jackie takes on the drug dealers.

DVD upgrade not found.

Not only was High Turbulance or High Turbulence not found on DVD, but this homemade VHS switches to another movie about halfway through, so you probably should not buy it.

VHS: HIGH TURBULANCE — JACKIE CHAN

No product link found for Jackie Chan waist disposal either.

Yellow Submarine

The Beatles: Yellow Submarine on VHS video. Starring John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Paul Angelis, John Clive. Directed by George Dunning. 1968.

The Beatles: Yellow Submarine on VHS video. Starring John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Paul Angelis, John Clive. Directed by George Dunning. 1968.

From the VHS cover:

Once upon a time… or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland — a place where happiness and music reigned supreme. But all that was threatened when the terrible Blue Meanies declared war and sent in their army led by a menacing Flying Glove to destroy all that was good. Enter John, Paul, George and Ringo to save the day! Armed with little more than their humor, songs, and of course, their yellow submarine, the Fab Four tackle the rough seas ahead in an effort to bring down the evil forces of bluedom.

DVD upgrade: Yellow Submarine

CD Upgrade: Yellow Submarine [Enhanced, Limited Edition, Original recording remastered]

Lunch: Vandor 64269 The Beatles Yellow Submarine Shaped Tin Tote with Embossing, Multicolored







Aldous Huxley: The Gravity of Light

Aldous Huxley: The Gravity of Light on VHS. Documentary starring Jean Houston, Judy Klassen, David Odhiambo. Directed by Oliver Hockenhull. 1996.

Aldous Huxley: The Gravity of Light on VHS. Starring Jean Houston, Judy Klassen, David Odhiambo. Directed by Oliver Hockenhull. 1996.

From the VHS cover:

“…I DON’T WANT COMFORT. I WANT GOD, I WANT POETRY, I WANT REAL DANGER, I WANT FREEDOM, I WANT GOODNESS, I WANT SIN.” — Aldous Huxley

Oliver Hockenhull’s mesmerizing, multi-layered, mind altering exploration of the approaching millennium, hypnotically viewed through the intellect and the life of one of this century’s most prophetic thinkers: Aldous Huxley.

In “Aldous Huxley: The Gravity of Light” Huxley’s social prophecies and cultural criticisms take on a renewed resonance as Hockenhull weaves together rare archival footage, with self-reflective dramatic essays and extravagant visual effects to create an exhilarating, mescaline inspired journey that aggressively questions our presumptions and preconceptions about society, sex, religion, psychoactive drugs, and the perils of technological progress.

It’s a brave new look at our Brave New World that you will never forget.

DVD upgrade: Aldous Huxley: The Gravity of Light

Read Huxley: Amazon’s Aldous Huxley Page



Warlock: The Armageddon

Warlock: The Armageddon on VHS. Horror fantasy movie starring Julian Sands, Chris Young, Paula Marshall. Directed by Anthony Hickox. 1993.

Warlock: The Armageddon on VHS. Starring Julian Sands, Chris Young, Paula Marshall. Directed by Anthony Hickox. 1993.

From the VHS box:

When he comes… all Hell breaks loose.

He’s back and meaner than ever! Satan’s only son, the “Warlock,” is plotting even greater mayhem in this spine-tingling, pulse pounding shocker! The Warlock’s single goal is to free his father from the fiery chains that imprison him and unleash Satan’s wrath upon the world. The only ones who can prevent complete world destruction are two warriors who alone possess the supernatural powers to challenge the Warlock… and stop the inevitable Armageddon. they must outsmart and defeat the Warlock before the prophesied eclipse, sending Satan and his son back to Hell.

DVD upgrade: Warlock: The Armageddon

Where dead media goes to live