Dee Snider’s StrangeLand on VHS. Starring Kevin Gage, Elizabeth Peña, Brett Harrelson, Robert Englund, Linda Cardellini, Dee Snider. Written by Dee Snider. Directed by John Pieplow. 1998.
From the box:
Let The Ritual Begin
[obscured by label]… the glow of the screen illuminates his heavily pierced tattoo-stained face as his fingers dance nimbly across the keyboard… searching, hunting.
His computer handle is Captain Howdy, and he surfs the local chat rooms for young female prey. Girls like Genevieve and Tiana, who mysteriously vanish after an online conversation with the cunning cyber-predator. Detective Mike Gage has a personal stake in the case–Genevieve is his daughter.
When Tiana’s corpse — tortured, pierced and scarred — is discovered in the river, Gage realizes that time is running out for Genevieve. Taking sadistic delight is Gage’s desperation, Captain Howdy sends the detective a series of taunting e-mails. challenging him to a deadly online game of cat and house, and drawing him into his “modern primitive” world — a strangle land of fetish bars, S&M, body modification and goth-rock.
DVD upgrade: StrangeLand
Twisted Sister: Big Hits & Nasty Cuts: Best of
Dee Snider on Dee Snider: Shut Up and Give Me the Mic
The Haunted Palace on VHS. Starring Vincent Price, Debra Paget, Lon Chaney Jr. Named after the poem by Edgar Allen Poe and based on the story “The Case of Charles Dexter Ward” by H.P. Lovecraft. Directed by Roger Corman. 1963.
From the sealed VHS box:
A Warlock’s Home Is His Castle… Forever!
A perversely evil 18th century warlock who — after placing a curse on the village women, resulting in a progeny of mutant children — is burned by the townspeople at the stake. A century after the human barbecue, the warlock’s great, great grandson returns to the family castle where he falls under Gramps’ ghost’s spell… beginning the evil all over again!
DVD Upgrade: The Haunted Palace & The Tower of London (Midnite Movies Double Feature)
Poe: Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems
Lovecraft: The Case of Charles Dexter Ward
Junior Bonner on VHS video. Starring Steve McQueen, Robert Preston, Ida Lupino. Directed by Sam Peckinpah. 1972.
From the VHS box cover:
Top rate directing by Sam Peckinpah and delightful performances from Steve McQueen, Robert Preston and Ida Lupino spark this enchanting drama about an ex-rodeo star determined to be in the spotlight one more time.
Junior Bonner, a likeable drifter and regular on the riding circuit comes home to find bulldozers clearing his family land. His father, Ace, wants to start a new ranch in Australia but is short on funds. Junior is broke, as usual, but he knows how to change that — by riding a fierce bull named Sunshine in a coming rodeo. Sunshine has already painfully thrown Junior, who’s now determined to take on the beast again, both to make a new life for his father and to prove to himself that he’s still got what it takes.
A rousing story enlivened by McQueen’s rascally charm and roguish appeal, JUNIOR BONNER will make you want to jump up and shout “Ride ‘em cowboy!”
DVD upgrade: Junior Bonner
The Naughty Nineties on VHS. Starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello. With Alan Curtis, Rita Johnson, Henry Travers. Directed by Jean Yarbrough. 1945.
From the box:
Featuring Their Famous “Who’s On First” Routine
In this zany musical comedy, Bud plays a ham actor and Lou his dim-witted assistant on the Mississippi showboat, the River Queen.
When the boat docks in St. Louis, Bud and Lou try to rescue Captain Sam from a poker game with three card sharks, but they are too late. The gamblers win a controlling interest in the River Queen and — to Captain Sam’s dismay — set up a crooked casino operation on board.
Before ridding the showboat of the villains, Abbott and Costello perform several of their most famous bits including the hysterical “Who’s on First” dialogues that has become one of the most popular comedy routines ever captured on film.
DVD upgrade: The Best of Abbott & Costello, Vol. 2 (Hit the Ice / In Society / Here Come the Co-Eds / The Naughty Nineties / Little Giant / The Time of Their Lives / Buck Privates Come Home / The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap)
The Mystery of Rampo on VHS. Special Academy Edition. Starring Naoto Takenaka, Michiko Hada, Masahiro Motoki, Mikijirô Hira. Directed by Kazuyoshi Okuyama. 1994.
From the box:
For Your Consideration
Special Academy Edition
DVD upgrade: The Mystery of Rampo
Bride of the Monster on VHS. Starring Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, Tony McCoy, Loretta King, Harvey B. Dunn. Directed by Edward D. Wood Jr. 1955.
From the VHS box:
It’ll Make Your Skin Crawl!
Bela Lugosi is featured in his last speaking role as a mad scientist who tries to harness atomic energy into the creation of super beings. Together with his sidekick slave Lobo he finds a willing bride for his monster (sensitively portrayed by a rubber octopus found rotting on a back lot, without its motor) in the person of a nosey girl reporter.
Good eventually defeats evil in a hysterical chase through the marshes as Lugosi (or his stand in, looking nothing like Lugosi) is eaten alive by his own “monster.”
There are loads of laughs in store as you watch Lugosi literally wrapping the octopus’ tentacles around him, vainly trying to give the impression of life to an otherwise flabby, inactive stage prop.
The film was financed by cattle rancher Donald McCoy under two conditions: 1) that his son Tony would star in the movie and 2) that Wood would make a powerful anti-nuke statement with the film. The results of this “deal” make the movie much more hilarious, keeping the Wood legacy of stiff acting and endless pontification continuing.
DVD upgrade: Bride of the Monster
More Ed Wood: The Ed Wood Box (Glen or Glenda / Jail Bait / Bride of the Monster / Plan 9 from Outer Space / Night of the Ghouls / The Haunted World of Ed Wood)
Most Ed Wood: Ed Wood’s Dirty Movies
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring on VHS video. Starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Alan Howard, Sean Astin, Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, Ian Holm, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, John Rhys-Davies, Cameron Rhodes, Sarah McLeod, Christopher Lee, Cate Blanchett, Sala Baker. Directed by Peter Jackson. From the book by J.R.R. Tolkien. 2001.
From the VHS box:
With the help of a courageous fellowship of friends and allies, Frodo embarks on a perilous mission to destroy the legendary One Ring. Hunting Frodo are servants of the Dark Lord, Sauron, the Ring’s evil creator. If Sauron reclaims the Ring, Middle-earth is doomed.
DVD upgrade: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Two-Disc Widescreen Theatrical Edition)